Episode 37 – Maple Syrup Reservoir Dogs, Box Turtlecide & New Year’s Resolutions


In episode 37, Ham & Chuck reveal the existence of… the International Maple Syrup Strategic Reserve. Seriously. There is one. And thank God for it, in light of the recent massive maple syrup heist in Canada, which CCN&O also covers this week. Ham & Chuck then examine the epidemic of box turtlecide that has stuck its ugly head out of its shell in Clemson, S.C. Finally, Ham & Chuck talk about New Year’s Resolutions and humans’ inexplicable inability to accurately predict the future.

“You gonna try to run over ME? I’ll come to your house and mess you UP! In three years you better start WATCHING YOUR BACK!!” Photo credit: Stacy Hansen

And please, if you haven’t yet, be sure to go to iTunes and subscribe to the Constant Crisis News & Opinion podcast and leave a comment and/or rating. We really appreciate it!




Mentions, Honorable and Otherwise:

  • Morgan Stewart
  • Al Gore
  • Al Jazeera
  • Current TV
  • Alexandra Petri
  • Compost
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau
  • Azores
  • Gibraltar
  • Bermuda
  • St. Thomas
  • NACE
  • National Association of Catering Executives
  • Arnauld’s
  • New Orleans
  • French Quarter
  • Cafe Du Monde
  • Beignets
  • Quebec
  • Canada
  • Ingrid Peritz of the The Globe and Mail
  • Tu Thanh Ha of the The Globe and Mail
  • The Globe and Mail
  • Montreal
  • Toronto
  • Hyperbole
  • Canadian Cheese Smuggling Ring
  • Justin Beiber
  • Maple Syrup
  • Quebec Federation of Maple Syrup Producers
  • The International Maple Syrup Strategic Reserve
  • Fort Knox
  • Sûreté du Québec Lt. Guy Lapointe
  • Sûreté du Québec
  • Inspector Jacques Clouseau
  • St.-Louis-de-Blandford
  • Waffle House
  • New Brunswick
  • Ontario
  • The United States
  • Candyland
  • The Molasses Swamp
  • Gloppy the Molasses Monster
  • The Royal Canadian Mounted Police
  • Canada Border Services Agency
  • U.S Customs and Immigration
  • Vermont
  • Ben & Jerry
  • Department of Homeland Security
  • Quebec City
  • Bécancour
  • Simon Trépanier (Interim director of the Quebec Maple Syrup Federation)
  • The Quebec Maple Syrup Federation
  • New Brunswick
  • Étienne St-Pierre (owner of S.K. Export Inc. in Kedgwick, N.B.)
  • Richard Vallières
  • Quebec Federation of Maple Producers
  • Jeffrey Collins of the Associated Press
  • Clemson University
  • Clemson’s School of Agricultural, Forest and Environmental Sciences
  • Box Turtles
  • Professor of Psychology Hal Herzog of Western Carolina University
  • “Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat” by Hal Herzog
  • “Eat, Love, Pray”
  • Professor Rob Baldwin of Clemson University
  • The New York Times
  • John Tierney of the New York Times
  • Dr. Daniel T. Gilbert of Harvard University
  • The journal Science
  • Dr. Jordi Quoidbach of Harvard University
  • Dr. Timothy Wilson of the University of Virginia
  • Dr. Dan McAdams of Northwestern University
  • New Year’s Resolutions
  • And our favorite contributor (in addition to Robert Holland): Lauren Cartwright!
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